Thursday, September 01, 2005

OZZFEST UPDATE

I am lazy so I will let speak for me a bit on the goings on at OZZFEST futher commentary by myself follows..

Well, now that we're back from OzzFest (rolled in around four a.m.). I've got a
slight burn on my cheeks and my arms are darker than they were before.

Farmer-tan.
Let's see, we got there at 9:30, and if I could find the
little card, I'd give you a set list. I know that Mastadon didn't play, so that
bumped everything else up by about twenty-five minutes. Got some free swag: a
lanyard (key thing) from 102.9 the Buzz radio station, a mint-flavoured Trojan
condom (for that mint tingle!), a pack of Criss Angel Midfreak Mints (I won't
eat them, they're cinnamon), a beer-bottle keychain from the movie Waiting -
holy shit, it's got a bottle opener on it!, an OzzFest 2005 summer sampler cd,
from the PS place - thekamisama
and I played some racing game, he played with the EyeToy, and I played with the
PSP, we both got demo disks, mine is for God of War - the Hydra Battle, and his
is for Jak and Daxter Trilogy, and as I'm looking at it, I see that it's a
movie. For purchased swag, we both got a tapestry each (yeah, some hippies were
there), thekamisama got the one I really liked, it's the outlines of a tribal-tattooed face, but
they only had one. So, I let him have that one, and I got a black and white one
with a butterfly on it. It was either that, or something with a pot leaf on it.
And I got a parasol, which ended up being my favourite purchase (aside from the
food/alcohol) because it kept the sun off. Speaking of pot, right before Rob
Zombie went on, the people standing to the left in front of us (in the crowd)
were selling dope. It would have been funnier if the guy's girlfriend was
inhaling, but (coming from a VETERAN pot-smoker) she wasn't. Then she bragged
about "OH MY GOD I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO HIGH!". I just had to laugh. Elbowed a dude
in the face after he shoved me, and he ended up buying thekamisama
a beer or three and me some stuff from the Jack Daniel's booth (since I don't do
the beer-drinking). He said, "Wow, I've never had a girl hit me that hard
before." as he wiped blood off his face. Had to go sit down after a bit, got a
little hot and needed to rest. Right before I got the guy in the face, thekamisama
pushed a dude by his face. Stuck his hand right on it and shoved. We weren't
bothered by the mosh pits again. During Killswitch Engage, we were around the
middle of the crowd, but by the time Rob Zombie came on, we were very close to
the stage. People were blowing up mint-flavoured Trojans and bopping them around
like they were beach balls. Albeit mint-flavoured ones.
I liked the fact
that there were so many people dressed badly, I wanted to take pictures of them
and post a "What Definitely not to wear, because Hal will make fun of you"
section, but there wasn't enough film in the camera (I did get a picture with a
guy who was dressed in a Red Riding Hood costume.). It looked like a Hot Topic
exploded on so many people out there. One guy was walking around with a
ground-length vinyl jacket with buckles and straps, we saw him about ten minutes
later with it slung over his shoulder. Lame. There were the Excellent
versions of bikini tops and spaghetti-strap tops, then there were the
horrible ones, where lots of fat jiggled freely. I'm a big girl, but I
was covered up. There's no amount of money that will get me to jiggle in public
all funky-like. These were fat girls in ultra-skinny girl clothes. Like bikini
tops and daisy dukes, with acres of skin showing. And before I get all those
comments about "If they're comfortable with themselves" - blah blah. I don't
want to hear it. I feel that it is tacky, and I wouldn't want my
girlfriend/wife/whatever wandering around looking bad. Especially if they've got
stretchmarks that look like a roadmap of Tokyo.
NO!
After we left
OzzFest, thekamisama said, "Let's go to a bar." I was already pretty lit, a combiination of a lot of
sun, a lot of alcohol and very little food made me give not a fuck about the
situation. So, we went to Mulligan's, and drank for a few more hours. Made it
home, then I passed right the hell out. I think I'm going to go take a
bath.
Oh yeah, Rob Zombie fucking RULES.


First off, I got the Japanese Mask tapestry.. not the tribal guy. I think they were sold out of those..

And that guy deserved to be shoved by the face. He pushed me. I pushed him back. He talked smack after he passed me and turned around so I cussed him like the bitch he is. He stepped up and got shoved into the mud. Maybe he should've asked the mosh pit and hardcore dance freako's what happened to them when they ran into me. I'd just shove them back across the length of the pit.

Rob did rock. no fucking doubt.. he is one of my faves. So I might be biased. I was dissapointed in the crowd for not knowing when to sing along (they were recording a live album at the time) , not even knowing the words to Demonoid Phenomenon, and then going totally lost any and all Nashville southern rock cred for not being able to figure out that they were supposed to be singing along to the Devil's Rejects/ Lynyrd Skynyrd cover closing song.

Who else was good? hmmmm I am picky so...
Trivium did a good set, they were the first people we saw.
Black Dahlia Murder was ... overrated! I still think they ride on the shock factor of the obscure name, not any talent they have
Missed a couple of people like Jada Pinkett Smith's (you know the Fresh Prince's wife) band. No great losses.. the bullshitting and drinking was worth it.
Soilwork did a solid set
I was too drunk to pay attetion to if A dozen Furies actually played..
Mastadon was MIA, so what? who cares?
As I lay Dying was something.. something I had no opinion of
Killswitch Engage really fucking impressed me. I had not really ever been a fan of them before. But they motivate the crowd and made a really fuckin bad ass show.
Rob zombie.. like I havent said enough?? Love that old school Batman and Robin shirt!

On the Main stage.. I fell asleep, or wanted to...

Shadows Fall is loud, thats about it.
Mudvanye sucks. nuff said
Velvet Revolver did actually rock the house. I don't consider them really "metal" more like hard rock or something. But they did a damn good job for a bunch of 12 step recoveries.. which reminds me of..
Ozzy and Sabbath. He is not looking good. not at all.. but he can still put on that game face. I am glad Ozzy has decided to hang it up before this become really embarrassing.

Oh if I didn't mention a band. thats cause they sucked or I was getting beer. If I mentioned you sucked (like Mudvayne) then you sucked really fucking bad...

oh yeah one last thing, the guy on the crutches with the messed up legs.. that was the most rocking guy there. If you have major problems with a handicap.. and you still come out to something this big, you got a fucking dark dedicated metalhead soul brother!

Hand me some more lotion, I think my skin is melting

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