Wednesday, June 25, 2003

i keep telling myself i am holding this door in case i need to close it off.. but it really is because i want to be ready for you to come running through.

Sunday, June 22, 2003

here is the proper restart of my blogger.
i think this will be my light blog, for fun stuff, family, etc, the stuff i need right now. angry kami is on my deadjournal and ranboo.
i need normalcy right now, so bad
i might convince you all that i am normal...
watching laputa (castle in the sky) with chibi today, slept way too much.. but that is depression talk and not allowed here.
its a good movie, a miyazaki anime, so it is a fantasy of sorts. good for the kids and adults.
chibi notices things well now. he said a few times while we watched it "is this like the movie i went to go see with amber?" (we saw Spirited Away in the theater) and he also has asked that while watching Kiki and Tortoro. I need to watch Princess Mononoke with him again, its been a while.
baseball season is over, thank god, he got upset that he got out on the last game, since it is peewee training league, they let him run the bases anyways, they dont keep score.. i wish they hadnt, he needs to learn that having fits wont get him his way. at home he is learning that as well. its a process, but i am learning as well... thank you amber.
so now we have swimming and awards for baseball tommorrow. i like the swimming lessons. his teacher is hot as hell. i wish i didnt come over straight from work looking like a bum and stinking like factory, might be able to throw some mack on, well not really... i just feel uncomfy outside in the sun wearing my work clothes. and the fact that i did not sign up for these lessons sorta pisses me off. he does need to learn i guess, and he does behave more here then most other activities we do.
i have been thinking, when it is all over. i will pick a family thing to do for both of us. i want to take kung fu lessons bad.. and for him that would be perfect for getting some disipline as well as the ability to defend himself as he gets older.
i swear though, i wish i was planning family things for a whole family.. that was kinda where i was hoping things would have gone by now. does not look like i should hold my breath on that one now. oh i don't even want to talk about all this, went and saw the twins in between sleeping all afternoon.. all my former sins seem to replay over and over.
wow, i happened to upset the happy journal, damn i suck...